Darling Contagion
must be a devil between us
or whores in my head
whores at the door
whore in my bed
but hey
where have you been
if you go i will surely die
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Monday, June 12, 2006
A random entry with melancholic electric guitar playing in the background. Don't expect anything more.
A moth flew into my room last night. I spotted it as I was looking into the mirror lathering my face. It was beating its wings furiously but seemed to be heading nowhere. It flew in wide circular orbits and I ducked ,dived and crouched to get out of its way. I tried coaxing it out of my room with a magazine,but when I slammed it shut the draft from the rapid shutting motion blew it right back into my room. Too tired to fight this fluttering thing I let it perch on my cables. Then I quickly googled 'Moths, Luck' on my laptop. I had remembered someone saying something about moths and luck a long time ago. The result was an unhelpful list of how to get lucky catching moths. I was not prepared to battle the internet so I let it go and passed the night not alone.
Whether the moth was good luck or not, it decided to leave me today. Somewhere in his monotonous orbiting he must have found the open window which I left wide open for him.
Or it might just have died in some obscure nook.
Today I had my first two papers. Or rather, my first two papers had me. All I could think of during those papers was how raw my glands felt to the touch. Smooth and hot, like I had swallowed two pebbles in my sleep. I ran my free hand over them, probed,nudged,stroked and convinced myself I was down with the kissing disease. Although I don't remember kissing anyone recently. I swallowed hard to check if the burning dry pain was still there at the back of my throat. It was,same as ever. The one and a half hour had therefore turned into a distracted intellectual exersion of information and a personal medical check up. I was convinced,and still am, that i'm going to die. Literally, or literarily.
A man added me online yesterday. He is apparently half thai and chinese on the other half. Because he's old I treated him disrespectfully. I would go into details but I can't be bothered to. There's something so intensely vulnerable about an old man online. By old I don't mean decrepit. Just a 50 year old man in a 28 old sheeps clothing. I hate it when random ugly people add me.
Will be moving to Japan.
A moth flew into my room last night. I spotted it as I was looking into the mirror lathering my face. It was beating its wings furiously but seemed to be heading nowhere. It flew in wide circular orbits and I ducked ,dived and crouched to get out of its way. I tried coaxing it out of my room with a magazine,but when I slammed it shut the draft from the rapid shutting motion blew it right back into my room. Too tired to fight this fluttering thing I let it perch on my cables. Then I quickly googled 'Moths, Luck' on my laptop. I had remembered someone saying something about moths and luck a long time ago. The result was an unhelpful list of how to get lucky catching moths. I was not prepared to battle the internet so I let it go and passed the night not alone.
Whether the moth was good luck or not, it decided to leave me today. Somewhere in his monotonous orbiting he must have found the open window which I left wide open for him.
Or it might just have died in some obscure nook.
Today I had my first two papers. Or rather, my first two papers had me. All I could think of during those papers was how raw my glands felt to the touch. Smooth and hot, like I had swallowed two pebbles in my sleep. I ran my free hand over them, probed,nudged,stroked and convinced myself I was down with the kissing disease. Although I don't remember kissing anyone recently. I swallowed hard to check if the burning dry pain was still there at the back of my throat. It was,same as ever. The one and a half hour had therefore turned into a distracted intellectual exersion of information and a personal medical check up. I was convinced,and still am, that i'm going to die. Literally, or literarily.
A man added me online yesterday. He is apparently half thai and chinese on the other half. Because he's old I treated him disrespectfully. I would go into details but I can't be bothered to. There's something so intensely vulnerable about an old man online. By old I don't mean decrepit. Just a 50 year old man in a 28 old sheeps clothing. I hate it when random ugly people add me.
Will be moving to Japan.
She Is Electric X 7:12:00 PM
Monday, June 05, 2006
So I haven't been online for more than a week and you would think I have something utterly fascinating to blog about. Just one thing. But surprise, I don't.
I can tell you where I've been though. Not in the boarding house but with my parents in our own sweet little house a few minutes away. There's a garden, there is nature,there are insects but there is no internet. Luckily, I have cable tv (Scrubs/ 8 Simple Rules/ Everybody loves raymond/ Frasier) at my beck and call to save me from going totally insane. Of course ,without the internet you would also think I would be studying my single eyelid eyeballs out, but I'm not. Instead, most of my time is spent dedicated to indulging in filial duties such as tasting the newest type of pate my mum had been pursuaded to buy by the nice man in waitrose. Then there's also the odd sticky toffee pudding to sample as well.
And there it is. I have not been jetting off to a very fabulously chic place, or had any scandalous rendevous to have me too busy to update my blog. Instead, I've been a sad sad excuse of a teenager,living with the parents, and just a bad toupe away from a midlife crisis.
Needless to say, the only thing progressing in my life is my weight. Studying, still zilch. Maybe Anna will be able to sympathise with me. Or not.
By the time Leaver's Ball comes,the only thing I'll be able to fit in is a little toga bed of bedsheets. God I'm fat. And I mean it.nevertheless, It's football season soon, not that I have ever cared for it, but its men like Nakata that have me glued to the sports channels.
I can tell you where I've been though. Not in the boarding house but with my parents in our own sweet little house a few minutes away. There's a garden, there is nature,there are insects but there is no internet. Luckily, I have cable tv (Scrubs/ 8 Simple Rules/ Everybody loves raymond/ Frasier) at my beck and call to save me from going totally insane. Of course ,without the internet you would also think I would be studying my single eyelid eyeballs out, but I'm not. Instead, most of my time is spent dedicated to indulging in filial duties such as tasting the newest type of pate my mum had been pursuaded to buy by the nice man in waitrose. Then there's also the odd sticky toffee pudding to sample as well.
And there it is. I have not been jetting off to a very fabulously chic place, or had any scandalous rendevous to have me too busy to update my blog. Instead, I've been a sad sad excuse of a teenager,living with the parents, and just a bad toupe away from a midlife crisis.
Needless to say, the only thing progressing in my life is my weight. Studying, still zilch. Maybe Anna will be able to sympathise with me. Or not.
By the time Leaver's Ball comes,the only thing I'll be able to fit in is a little toga bed of bedsheets. God I'm fat. And I mean it.nevertheless, It's football season soon, not that I have ever cared for it, but its men like Nakata that have me glued to the sports channels.
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's times like these I wish desperately that I could read Japanese.
That TRAITOR. Nabeh. That's it. I don't like football anymore.
She Is Electric X 1:57:00 PM