Darling Contagion
must be a devil between us
or whores in my head
whores at the door
whore in my bed
but hey
where have you been
if you go i will surely die
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Thursday, March 30, 2006
I have since concluded that the National Library is a strange place with stranger people. For starters, everything there is so quiet. I know it's a library and all, but surely some muffled shuffling about is healthy. I wasn't allowed into any room with books in them so I had to settle for the 'study lounge' which was past the 'room of possibilties' (I know...HAHAHA). The Room of Possibilities even had security wardens standing ominously outside *snigger*.
It was the Balcony later on. In the library I could feel my looks start to fade and all glamness wither away as I sat in a row with bespectacled, Qoo totting, Hush Puppy wearing women and men (which is just as disturbing).
When we fetched my sister I was amused to see her new hair extensions. Her hair is just as short as mine, but she went some place to get real ,coloured, very long hair attached to her present short hair. The extensions however, are only attached to the back of her head. It is ....interesting.I could feel my mum release an aura of resignation.It was all her fault really, she refused to pay thousands of dollars for my sis to get a whole head of extensions (fair enough) , so now she must live with a daughter that looks like a character out of Dragonball-Z. I don't think my mum likes it much, and if I recall correctly, she did say that my sis looked like a ' punky rat' or something *haha*:
Sis: Isn't my hair nice!
*silence*
Mum: Yes, you look very punk. But that's real hair? EEYEW!
* me laughing to myself*
Sis: Well, lynette and nat both think it's nice ok
Me: Let me see * turns around and feels the long strands of technicoloured hair* Wow! It's so long! Mummy, Can you please take me to Le Salon to get hair extensions too!
Mum: No! You can go to the place your sister went... it's very nice.
hahaha....
Man, I love my family. We put the fun back in dysfunctinonal.
She Is Electric X 3:46:00 PM
It was great seeing Annie after so long, she made me wait 5 minutes :( I guess that is an improvement from Jint's 40minutes. That's right, Me! Waiting for 40 minutes! I can't believe I had it in me to be so patient. On the way to HollandV my mum came out with one of her classic sayings, 'you're friends proabably view you as some rich kid...you know how rich kids are.... they're so intolerant of suffering' . 'Intolerant of Suffering', haha,classic. Just like how she describes English Yobs as Ahbengs who have 'let themselves go'.
With reference to the 'rich kid' thing, I'm not rich, and I'm not spoilt. I may give off the impression of being a real brat, but I am really not one.
Bah, I'm a voice in the wilderness I am.
Nothing much planned today except holing myself up in the National Library later on. My stomach is eating itself at the present moment and I really like Korn's Twisted Transistor video, it's funny. Ooh Jimmy Neutron is on now!!! YAY!!!! I <3 Jimmy Neutron. My favourite character being Sheen :D
Reminder to myself, call Strip right about now. Or maybe later.
JIMMY NEUTRON! :D :D
She Is Electric X 5:44:00 AM
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
It's Paradise
This is where the hungry comes to feed
For mine is a generation that circles the globe
in search of something we haven't tried before
so never refuse an invitation
never resist the unfamiliar
never fail to be polite
and never outstay your welcome
just keep your mind open and
suck in the experience
and if it hurts
you know what... it's probably worth it
you hope, and you dream
but you never believe that something is gonna happen to you
not like it does in the movies
and when it actually does
you expect it to feel different
more visceral
more real
I was waiting for it to hit me
Hit me
I still believe in paradise
but now at least I know it's not some place you can look for
cause it's not where you go
it's how you feel for a moment in your life
and if you find that moment
It will last forever
She Is Electric X 5:14:00 AM
Monday, March 27, 2006
Popped a melatonin at 8pm and dozed off till mr Sprinkles decided that it was a good time to ring me persistantly to talk about... our July holiday. I managed to doze off again till he called 2 hours later to tell me he was polishing his boots. *rolls eyes*. It was at 11 pm that I realised there was no way I could muster up enough meltatonin juices to send me back off to sleep so I sat in my toilet having a gaff.
Half an hour later it was my turn to give him a text blaming him for my insomnia. He called back and we ended up talking for two hours about... our July holiday. Very crucial issues were raised like sleeping arrangements and our activities for the week which in the end, seems to be a week of hardcore ninja training for sprinkles,punctuated by trips to the redlight district in Tokyo. It seems Sprinkles is forgetting it is OUR holiday but oh well. Sprinkle gets what Sprinkle wants. I of course, will be left at the mercy of ninja's and perverts. If I do not return from this trip you guys know where to find me. I'll probably be in a Russian brothel under the name nikita serving Vodka in kegs to murderer's and rapists and it will all be Sprinkle's fault.
' I think it'll be better if we have separate rooms' mumbles Sprinkles, ' coz you know, this boy-girl thing ...if we sleep in the same room...not very good la'. Yea Sprinkles, sure. But I get scared when I'm left alone in a hotel room by myself. Who knows what will spring out of the shower or cupboard when I least expect it. Besides, we're friends, obviously nothing will happen. Yea, nothing will happen because I'm not submissive and frail enough for him,teehee... Reading between the lines I'm guessing Sprinkles is anticipating some action with a hot tokyo prozzy which of course, he can have as long as i'm not there. I'll just wait in the hotel bar by myself. See you in Russia Sprinkles, remember,the name's Nikita.
Anyway, having polished his boots we say goodnight and I still find myself all jumpy and fidgety *turns to sprinkles and snarls*. I got a dormicum off my mum and I'm still the same. Damn this jet lag.
She Is Electric X 7:28:00 PM
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Jint was late but I noticed I was smiling to myself. It might have been the familiar tinkling of Cherry Brandy 7up in my glass, or the balmy heat of Singapore weather which permitted me to walk around in just my tank. It was brilliant. I even enjoyed eaves-dropping into a typical Singaporean conversation and savouring the muffled diction and lazy slurs of S'pore slang:
Lady 1: Yah, so he cheated on her la.. and now, *sigh*,she's on tranquilisers....
Lady 2: Hah! So bad one ah!
Lady 1: Yar lo, and somemore he is divorcing his wife to go with her.... and he never even do that for me...
a few more sips later...
Man 1: wah! BIIIIRRDD FLUUUUU!!!!
*awkward silence* budabum chh...
Only in Singapore can you find random conversations like these.
I love Singapore. I love my texas 5 ice, I love my CB7up, I love Jint, I love Strip.
Further update, I had caught RENT twice on the plane and have decided to pursue my ultimate fantasy of being a poledancer. Egged on by Jint who claims that I remind her of Mimi from RENT, I'll be looking up classes real soon. To all you out there who have scoffed at my fantasy, pooh to you... no more messing around playground poles and lamp posts anymore.
She Is Electric X 4:06:00 PM
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Still have some bit of packing to do. What does it mean when I'm more excited about the monotonous coach ride to the airport than the flight itself. I will miss my bad habits that I have honed into an artful routine- wakeup,smoke,change,school,smoke,(maybe lunch), computer,smoke,music, drink, smoke (food slips in somewhere). Back home it will be a new, healthier routine that I know,will sap the life out of me. For starters I'll have to cut down on my cancer sticks, run around the NIE track (maybeI can sneak one in here), and limit my alcky intake to twice a week.
Looking down at my suitcase I notice a trend in the clothes I have lovingly chucked ino it. Black, White, Navy, Black, White, Navy. At this rate I'm well prepared for a) a funeral, b) enlistment into the navy, c) a job in a restaurant. I sigh at the thought of having to lift my body weight down the precarious flight of stairs. There's a voice in my head chiding me to have a smoke, I need it it says and I resist the urge. Then I realise that I am weak and light up.
Before I forget, Eve's party last night was good. The food was great, the company hilarious, it was the best fun I've had in some time and I wasn't even drunk.
Anyway, the 10 minutes is up.
See you in Singapore.
She Is Electric X 9:51:00 AM
Friday, March 24, 2006
He looked at me and I could have sworn I had seen that look somewhere before. The underlying insecurity that betrayed his pompous confidence was familiar. His walk (or swagger) mirrored a gait that I could not place. He grabbed my packet of cigarrettes and slipped one into his mouth, inhaled and looked away. I placed my hand in his pocket to reach for some loose change, everything was familiar yet startlingly different at the same time. We looked at each other and I scrunched up my face, he laughed and playfully pushed me away. It was in the long silence that we became strangers again.
Maybe I should start believing in reincarnation.
Anyway...
I was buzzing today. No I was clean. I was buzzing from the thought of being back in Singapore. I have forgotten how much I've missed that bloomin' place. *jittery* bouncy* , I wanna leave now now now. Tomorrow couldn't come too soon. I'm flying back tomorrow. Can't wait. Can't wait. Can't wait. I know I'm repeating myself, but seriously, I CAN HARDLY WAIT! Singapore here I come, ready or not.
Yah! I've forgotten the time!
Got to run, Got a party to go to and I'm still in my lazy clothes! Shite!!
She Is Electric X 6:04:00 PM
Thursday, March 23, 2006
I lost a bid on ebay for that Black Balenciaga I really coveted. It went for £105. Thank god I lost. If I had won it there would have been alot of explaining to do. Sitting at her computer my face was burning up in the stress of those last minutes. Ebay is an addiction. I have to quit it soon.
I was in a rut.
It might have been the lost bid, or the insatiable hunger for something different that made me drag them out for a drink. There was noone to stop us so I got tipsy. Chugging down those bottles, over the temporal high, I still felt the same. A man in an afro stood at the steps staring at me.I smiled back. Beneath the fake moustache, tacky retro glasses, cheap afro wig, and beyond the depressive Westlife playing in the background, he was good looking. I liked him. When we got up to leave he turned around and waved goodbye to us. I waved goodbye too like we were old friends. With that casual wave ,it said 'see you later', but we meant 'fancy you. Bye forever, stanger'. Then we stepped out into the cold.
Erase and rewind to several hours before, I sat in Z's empty room waiting for her to come back from school. Played around with her things, drew on her receipts and then made a connection. What were the chances . I can't be arsed to go into detail here, I'll leave it for another day.
Polished off two packets of Hula Hoops later in the night. I didn't want to be alone so I had Z stay with me. Feeling old in our clothes we had a shower. I couldn' t hear her over the running water. I stood in the last cubicle. It is the darkest of all three and my favourtie place in the house. It is always the same. Filling the space with the hot perfume of my soap it made me think of home.
Z slept with me again last night.
Today we took some Alis test and I was reminded of my unfathomable inability to answer MCQ questions. They confuse me. Surely there has to be more to an answerr that yes/no, black and white facts. 'Rate the teaching in your school.' 5? 6? What exactly does each digit represent? Is 5 much different from 6? If so, what is the deciding factor which determines that 1 point. I was always crap at things like that.We took it last year as well. We had to answer questions on geometry and arithmetic in general. Needless to say ,I was stumped. Sat there for ages trying to recall ancient theories of flipping fractions and manipulating equations. My answers didn't tally but it was the best I could do. Maybe I'm just a retard in more ways than one.
Someone came into my room at 8.20 am. I heard the door creak open, and I heard the pause before it shut. Z and I wondered who it was who saw. We looked a little ridiculous with our bodies lying parallel, contorted to the confined space of a single bed. We have come a long way from living like coolies. I had slept falling last night.
We read our school reports today, as expected, mine was toilet paper. I don't even care anymore. As long as they think i'm intelligent, I'll let my intelligence salvage me from this rot i'm in.
Before we break up I have to record the only achievement I am proud of this whole term. I have not gone to a single session of field in all these 3 months. *bow bow*. I could have gone this week, but I decided to leave my impeccable absentee record untarnished.
From:
Sent: 14 March 2006 14:55
To:
Subject: Multi-Gym, 14/03
Lavinia Tan
SFC 2 G
On a separate note, I do indulge in other activities which do call for a certain amount of physical exersion:
1) sit on your bed/at your desk
2) rotate your right ankle around clockwise in the air
3) draw a 6 in the air with your right hand
4) Notice your foot changes direction!! (how cool is that?!)
Also, Z and I have mastered the dance routine of Monica and Ross, it looks so wicked. Albeit a tad lame and stupid, but who cares! *Boys... the trouble with boys... blablabla* * body wave*
Anyway, this is a boring post because I lead a boring life. It's the tail end of term and there's nothing much happening, just alot of waiting, and as we all know, nothing much happens in limbo. I have to pack but I cant be arsed. I don't want to go to heathrow, it's a stinkhole, well, at least I can stuff myself with T.G.I.F's. I'm gutted they closed T.G.I.F's in Singapore, it used to be my favourite hangout joint as a kid. Well, not that I had much say as to where I would have liked to hang as a kid,but it was the one of the few restaurants I enjoyed going to. I boycott Fish&Co now because it's not T.G.I.F's,and I bet they don't have crayons there.
Maybe somewhere else won't be half as cold as me.
She Is Electric X 12:37:00 PM
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Back in October, on some random evening in New York, S had invited Al and I along to her visit to her aunt in Brooklyn. I remember the long row of busy new yorkers packed in the subway carriage. Like a typical scene off a hollywood film, every character embodied a certain perfected stereotype. The weary businessman- A man dressed in a sloppy trenchcoat hugged his briefcase, nodding off to sleep. The black frazzled housewife longing for improved career options- The woman on my left was reading through college applications.A middle-aged woman, she was more engross in her college material than I, as a student would ever be. Through the scratched window panes of the subway, I observed the subway stations lose their lustre the closer we got to Brooklyn. Polished mosiac tiles gave way to clean cement,and later, rough plaster adorned with vibrant grafitti. It was thrilling.
A young black man,probably in his late teens strolled into our carriage somewhere between the clean cement and graffitied plaster. He wore a black bomber/rapper jacket with red detailing on the back and leant casually against the railing in front of us. The first thought that came into my head was, 'shit. We're going to get mugged', but this eventually gave way to ,'man, he is fiiiiiine....'. He looked over to me and smiled. I smiled back. My first encounter with a Brooklyn homeboy. Check.
Stepping onto the Brooklyn platform, the sensations the three of us were experiencing were far from sweet. Lost in a sea of afro-carribeans, the glaring flourescent lighting of the station fell hard on each grim face. A group of middle-aged men compensating for their missed years of 'thug-life' had decided to catch up by shouting some rudely suggestive one-liners at us. We gripped each other harder and pressed on, fighting our way through the crowd of grim faces. S frantically dialed Chief's number, muttering 'Where is that boy, Where is that boy' in the hope that our desperation might evoke some urgency telepathically to that boy. When we finally reached the light at the end of the tunnel- there was none. Night had finally set in and the streets were bathed in blinding darkness. To add to our misery, it began to pour heavy, oppressive buckets. It was standing in the heart of Brooklyn that we began to feel really inadequate and not to mention, stupid. S with her pashmena scarf coiled like an expensive snake around her neck, Al with her designer glasses and immaculate hair, and me, in my DKNY coat totting my matt&nat original. It was surprising we managed to survive 5 minutes unaccompanied.
Suddenly, like an oasis in the desert, a ray of hope in the gloom, Chief turned up to save us from potential disaster. A tall young man ,he was rather good looking. Shaved head, very rough and thug, he greeted S with a warm bear hug. We then introduced ourselves, but formalities had to be put on hold seeing as the rain was drowning us 3 like sewer rats. Chief, as his name suggests, was impervious to the elements and guided us fragile flowers to his family's apartment. All this time I was smitten by his accent ,' Hey Gurrl! Haven seen ya in ages man! Where you be at?' ...
Oh it was SO hot.
Braving the rain, Al was picked up by an earnest looking young thug (an oxymoronic statement if you ever heard one), who was very keen on her. No doubt Al is beautiful, what with her big eyes, perfect face structure, killer bod....Humbly walking by her he struck up a conversation and upon learning that we were from the UK, welcomed us to Brooklyn. What a nice boy.Albeit a little creepy.
When we got to his apartment , some of Chief's friends were chillin' in his crib,yo, and they were so good looking it was unbearable. They followed us upstairs and I could have just melted from the pure heat that they generated in the room. As Chief and his friend sat themselves behind us it was difficult to turn and admire, but now and then I would turn to see that his friend was staring at me. Literally, eyeball to eyeball. Or eyeball to the back of my head. Either way, I didn't mind because he was so good looking. There were no white boys there to dilute the intensity of the black thug vibe. Strangely enough, they wore the same black bomber with red detailing as the boy in the subway. Reflecting upon it now, I reckon they must have belonged to some Brooklyn gang, but they are hot gangsta's so all is forgiven. And their accents! Their voices! *gush* I have yet to hear another voice as sexy as that of a Brooklyn black boy. It was love....
The boys left the apartment after sometime and we were left with S's cousin Stacey who was gorgeous too. (This is of course, was to be expected as she hangs out with fiddy and pdiddy on a regular basis. ) As she showed us pictures of the different parties' she had attended, she suddenly turned to me and held my confused gaze. It was at this moment that my life flashed before my eyes as S's warnings rang sharply in my ear,' Stacey is psychotic...She's punched a girl before... Man,I'm scared of her... I would never dare to get on her bad side'. My heart stopped and I thought I was going to pass out.
'Oh My God,' began Stacey, My body froze.
' F***', my voice of conscience went.
' You are so beautiful' she continued.
I turned around and looked at Al giving Stacey the benefit of the doubt that maybe, she might be cross-eyed and meant to have been looking at Al. It was apparent I had mistaken the almighty Stacey, but choosing to err on the side of caution, I went 'her? Yea she is', pointing to Al. 'No, I mean you! No offence (looking at Al this time), You're beautiful too ,but you (bringing her gaze back to me), Your lips! They're like Angelina Jolie's! Your face! You're beautiful!'.
My face went red hot and I can't remember what happened after. I might have passed out, or delirium might have paralysed my short-term memory, but suddenly Stacey wasn't that intimidating anymore. Me and my ego deemed her a gem. I was a little suspicious of Stacey as I felt less than glamorous with my rain-soaked hair and tired demeanor. But even so, it was nice of her to choose to complement me rather than beat me to the ground, very hospitable.
Having left Brooklyn and finally New York, the people we had met will never leave me. In particular, Chief and his homies, Stacey and her rap stars would always have a place in my heart. As they say, there's always a first time for everything, and this having been my first time in the Big Apple, meant everything. It has been some time and it never occurred to me to pay NY a tribute. (I turned 18 in New York.)
Sigh, New York, Brooklyn, I love you, I love your black thugsters (well, the civilised ones), I will see you again...and again.... and again....
X
This is Brooklyn in the day.
Now picture it pitch black, pouring and crowded.
That was our Brooklyn.
She Is Electric X 6:46:00 PM
Monday, March 20, 2006
? shuffled into my room in a somewhat of a state.
'Isn't it going to be rather awkward for the two of you...being in the same house...'
? nodded profusely. It is bound to be at the end of such a whirlwind romance.
Sigh...girls ,girls ,girls....
She Is Electric X 6:19:00 PM
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Other than that evil £1 bottle of pure, unadulterated headrushes, it was a rather peaceful night. I serenaded Anna with my newly acquired guitar-playing skills. (Sh, don't tell anita, she knows nothing of this. ) When A snuck the bottle of heavenly nectar out of her ominous black Chloe Paddington I squealed in glee, it was the best surprise anyone had given me in some time. It is upon some reflection that I realise what a sinister turn my life has taken since this year. I remember when 'fun' was associated with knee-grazing, head spinning delirium. Now it is more of how much I can separate myself from reality through intoxication and similar poisons. Is this as good as it gets?
Needless to say, when Saturday reared its sinister head around the corner, the pressure was on. It began with being subjected to an hour of slow-death by Class Civ radio. It was basically a long, painful debate about Aeschylus' Oresteia. Honestly, who cares if ancient greeks minded sitting for 9hours straight watching a tragedy trilogy, it's not like you're the one sitting there right? Who cares if Clytemnestra is evil or not? I'm just fecking BORED! Ooh, shucks, there's lint on my jumper... God I hate C... Man, my classmates suck... My it's cold today... Cool screensaver....
Thankfully, things picked up in the evening. Headed down to Yates' and danced like there was no tomorrow, till my tank went semi- transparent, and till I couldn't breathe.
To say that I had absolute mindblowing fun would be a lie. I probably had more fun trying to find a pair of heels to match my ensemble than I did out. It's all the same after awhile.There will always be new jokes to crack, new people to meet, new camera's spying on you (big brother's watching), but the feeling's still the same. We're still the same. The high eventually wears off and reality slaps you hard in the face screaming 'where have you been?!' You sit stunned and sigh, concious of the fact your breath reeks of your chosen poison. And still, we have to face ourselves for yet another day.
_
I have come to realise how psychotic people in this school really are. And then I look at myself and realise I am one too. I used to think I could tolerate her, till I saw her again and her whining just made me want to slap her hard across the face. I've never slapped someone before, but if I could she'd be shitting skittles out her ass. I hate the way she inflicts her insecurities on others. Watching her in the Library I could have thrown my magazine in her face. Instead I just looked down, let her call me darling and kiss me whilst she ribbed the others. Maybe I'm just as despicable as she is. I make me sick. You make me sick. We make ourselves sick.
And then I go back and it's the same thing all over again. I make you sick, you make me sick, yet we still stay together out of habit.
In the dark we could have saved each other, if we saw each other to begin with.
-
Who would have known Queen Christina would have inspired a desperate movie marathon?
Watched Spirited Away this saturday. Yet another movie with reference to Japanese culture and my heart was aching to be there. I loved it tremendously but it made me sad I can't speak a word of Japanese other than Sashimi,Udon and other names of Japanese cuisine. I will live in Japan one day, if that will change anything.
She Is Electric X 6:55:00 PM
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Antonio: What are you doing?
Christina: I'm memorizing this room... in the future... in my memory... I shall live a great deal in this room
Go GARBO!!!
Watched 2046 today. It was rather long; 2 hours to be precise *yawn*.
Don't get me wrong, I really liked it, it's just that two hours is a long time to be sitting on a beanbag with your head bent and legs stretched behind you. I lie, it's quite relaxing to contort yourself now and then.
Anyway...
Aside from that, the idea behind the movie was good, the shooting was good,editing needed more work, and Ziyi Zhang was actually good in this film *surprise*. My enjoyment of this movie probably rested largely on the fact that I was able to identify with the concept they were trying to get across. In many ways this movie reminded me of one of my test essays where I have not mastered the text and just end up rambling off loads to fool the examiner into thinking I know some stuff. Like my essays, this movie took ages to get to the point, and when it did get to a point,it would fly off tangent again with a random shot of an android.
However, after thinking real hard, from what I gather of 2046, is that Kar Wai( yea,we're on first name basis now, we should be after I stomached 2hours of his film), just wants to put across the idea that no matter how we dwell on the past,we're never able to get it back. Like sleazy (but good actor) Tony Leung says ,' it's no good meeting the right person.. too soon or too late...' because everything in life is all about having the right timing...or something like that. I wish I could say something really poignant about the film, but it was more of a catharsis for me. Clever filming techniques, the people in the movie were always framed and trapped within the confines of walls/ curtains creating a sense of stifling entrapment which echo the mental and emotional constriction felt by its protaganists. *buddabum chhh*
Good flick,' Bai Ling' and Tony very scarily paralleled my life, I wasn't the only one freaked.
(Lush is playing 'Trigger Hippy'..Man, haven't heard that song in AGES! I HEART IT! )
Kimura Takuya is HOT!! Omg! I can just keel over from heart arrest just looking at this punk! He's way HOT in 2046 as Tak. Gah! Why are Jap guys so bloody hot and Sporean/ Gloucestershire dudes all... ikan bilis like. Omg! Kimura Takuya, you are a GOD. A God. I think. Surprising though, there are hardly any good pics of him. But he got me through 2 hrs of 2046... sexy beast *drool, sweat*
ps: I would really love to watch art films in Singapore. Does Singapore have any arty- indie type cinema's like those along Notting Hill? It's pretty useless on the art film scene isn't it. Thought so :( Anyway, if any of you are up for bringing me along should you know of them, please be nice and drop me a text. I'LL PAY YOU! Ok,no i'm not serious. I'll buy you a drink....
She Is Electric X 5:11:00 PM
I was distressed yesterday because I have such a short time to shed all my winter fat. My desperation had me employing the expertise of my darling Lawrence. Now I have to record what I've eaten for the next three days and he'll draw up a workout regime for me. Phew, I feel tired just typing this out. I'm screwed.
I'm gutted I have to eat healthily :(
Yesterday's Food Log:
-Beans on Toast
-MaccyD fries
- KFC popcorn Chicken/ Fries
- 2 Aero Chocolate bars
- 2 Vodka/ Sprites
How ever am I going to get healthy remains a mystery.
Food, glorious food
Like with most things, I have a love-hate relationship with food. I love eating food,but once I'm done stuffing my face I hate the smell of food- airborne calories make me sick. Food is such a waste of time, yet why can't I just stop eating. I reckon when I grow old I'm going to turn into one of those fat jabba people who have to be wiped down in sections,then lifted by a crane through a hole in the wall for occasional airing, only to be lathered down with anti-rash cream from lying in bed for too long,immobile. I love smoking, but once the smoke blows back into my face stinging my eyes till they start tearing,I could just snap every one of those cancer sticks in twain to spite them. Then two hours pass and I start fidgeting, my legs shake in a really annoying way which leads people like Chris to say that I'm sexually frustrated, because that's apparently what you do when you're not getting any. That's true, those cigs are my lovah's... take them in,breathe them out..easy.
I reckon I need one of those JoeyNY Lipnix Lipsticks:
On-the-record promise: Firms and plumps lips to give you that perfect pout.
Secret powers: Appetite-inhibiting plant essences (peppermint, grapefruit, spearmint) help you stop eating so much; flower extracts including heliochrysum and geranium supposedly curb the urge to smoke.
The expert says: Says Wechsler, “The placebo effect can be very powerful.”
If they say so, sounds sweet. You would think beauty magazines would give you tips on how to stay radiant,look like a goddess, and be an all round sexy beast but no. The fashion magazine of today tells you to experiment with valium&alcohol to get whacked off your head. Now this is what I'm talking about. None of that 'You're beautiful,if you go for a nose job,lip job,botox, boob job,butt job, hairextensions job,and basically rearrange- your- whole- face-so- you-look-nothing-like-you job' crap. Give us something we can work with, like our livers. I'm glad they have finally come to their senses and given us mere mortals an activity we can all enjoy; abusing our nervous systems.
Finally WH Smith's decides to stock I.D magazine. What took them so long, those losers. Also, I have found a fashion magazine I can tolerate, barely. Elle.
In our utter state of boredom and my slightly tipsy state last night I gave the big Z a makeover!! We bumped into C the other day in the streets and she had her whole face painted over because some lady at Estee Lauder decided to do her the favour of giving her a makeover. She was painted a whitey-beige. Quite becoming actually.
I wish I had my long hair back. She reminds me of me...*reminisce*sigh*swoon*
In Z's own words ,' in essence you're a good makeup artist...until you start going crazy'.
Haha...trying to recreate the Moschino look. I think it's rather fancy. The lips are tres cool, but I particularly dig the eye makeup I did for her. I actually went through a phase where I insisted on making my eyes up like that to go out. Needless to say not everyone was appreciative of my creative efforts.... like a voice in the wilderness, noone pays heed to my eternal creative wisdom
Harajuku Lovahs Hai Chi Zi! Kawaii! Bling Bling Yoko Ono!
So we got rid of the fancy schmancy lipstick and I think she looks wicked!
Very Angelina Jolie in a way,with the hair and shadowed eyes...
Yea!
On to bigger and brighter things... My shoe collection!!!
I just bought me-self a new pair of shoes! The roman sandals you see in the picture are my recent purchase. Can't wait to wear them in Singapore, so bohemian, tres tres chic! Mes Oui! need more shoes... Can't keep wearing the same ones over and over again now can we....
St Pat's day tomorrow!! Time to get trashed.. Irish style.. 
Mrs G just came to talk to me about us gang of smokers stinking up the corridoor. I actually had to suck up this time which I haven't done in about....5 years and it felt totally...abnormal. I reckon if someone was filming the whole 'talk' we had it would have shown me contorting my face into some heinously pained expression of amiability,maybe bleeding at the nose abit from all the effort. I am so bad at brown-nosing it's a little scary. Someone told me that to perfect the art of kissingchutties you have to raise your voice pitch a notch or two ,so i tried that,but my sore throat got in the way and I ended up sounding like a pubescent 13 yr old boy. It was tiring work seeing as it didn't exactly help to curry favour in any way. Damn. Now I know why I wasn't topofthepops with my teachers....
Oh yea, forgot to add. Yesterday I was taking root in my beanbag, preparing to rot in my room when Inman gave me a call and we went skipping out to town. Somehow, very oddy, we ended up at the restoration where I very nicely , proved myself a lightweight. 50Cent came on and I do recall jumping on the couch and pressing myself against the speaker whispering to it. Smooth eh. But the highlight of yesterday's trip was riding in Ollie's car. He's such a KEWL driver,I love riding in cars with guys, they're such AWESOME drivers. Like how whatshername puts it, when guys drive fast you always feel safe,in a way. With girls' however, you always feel you're at the mercy of another hormonal attack which might possess them into swerving into a lampost just to prove a point. Ollie is cool, but I prefer Tim, but then again ,who am I to judge, I'm just another drunk.
She Is Electric X 12:13:00 PM
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
What would you do if you were the opposite gender for exactly 24 hours?
As for me, here's what my schedule would look like (this was written by a friend of a friend who happens to be a guy... teehee):
8am: Holy crap! I don't have a morning woody? MY PENIS IS GONE! (proceeds to poke at vagina. Laughs maniacally.)
9:07am: Shit, that was fun.
9:10am: (Looking into mirror) Wait, I'm still a guy--my boobs are nonexistent. Nevermind, I'm Asian.
9:11am: Peeing is such a hassle. wtf.
9:12am: Women never fart, or so it seems. Time to change all that. ::goes next to brother:: "TAKE THAT!"
8:15am: My hair looks lovely today. Maybe I'll spend a few minutes making it look nice.
10:47am: "Crap, how the heck did time go by so fast?"
10:50am: This vagina looks funny.
11:10am: "Oooh, gossip news!"
12pm: "OMG, GENERAL HOSPITAL!"
1pm: (tearing) "WHY? WHY DID YOU BREAK UP? HE DOESN'T DESERVE THAT!" (Kicks over the TV. Brother stares emotionless)
1:30pm: Time to get myself breakfast.
1:45pm: Arrives at McDonalds. "I'll have a number two, super-sized, 2 apple pies, an order of mozarella sticks, a McChicken sandwich, and a chocolate sundae."
1:46pm: Male cashier is still puzzled over my order.
2:08pm: (loud belch) The customers stare at me bewildered.
2:10pm: (walks by male cashier) Maybe I'll have some more dessert with you later. (wink)2:11pm: Damn, messing with guys heads IS fun. No wonder girls do this so often.
3:45pm: Hits the arcade
4:17pm: Proceeds to annihilate all male contenders at Street Fighter vs SNK.
4:49pm: Males become frustrated and confused.
4:50pm: "Yeah, that's a shame."
5:30pm: Proceeds to extremely-filled basketball court
5:33pm: "Can I get next?""Uhh..uhhh...sure!," the male pack-leader stutters.
5:34pm: (thinks to self) Damn, it's that easy to get onto the court just with boobs?
5:50pm: Attempts an AND1 crossover-pass behind the back which ends up hitting a teammate in the nose. "Oooooh, ouch. Sorry. Walk it off."
5:51pm: Goddamn, it's getting hot. Time to take off my shirt.
5:52pm: Why is everyone staring at me? "OH SHIET!" (Quickly grabs shirt and covers already-exposed boobs). "Okay, so you all got a free peep show. Now shut up." Oh my god, that was embarassing. Now I know how Tara Reid feels.
6:15pm: (Discovers a new offensive move: groping my boobs in front of the ballhandler) Works every time.
7pm: Farking exhausted. How the heck do other girls walk all day around the mall?
7:30pm: Time for pr0n. Be back later.
8pm: Interesting to say the least.
8:20pm: Takes numerous photos for MySpace. BOOB SHOT!
8:50pm: Hmm...a visit to the bar sounds fun.
9:30pm: Shower time. Should be quick.
10:15pm: WTF! Why are my showers taking forever?
10:30pm: SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE!
10:33pm: (Pokes at boob)
10:45pm: FINALLY! It's like there's a magnet that keeps you from escaping the bathroom.
11:50pm: Arrives in city.
12am: WOOOO! Body shots galore!
12:20am: Shot number..wha? 6? HOT!
1:36am: "Yeah? And your mother likes it rough...like your sandpaper-like hands, bietch!"
5am: (Looks around, notice that I'm inside a toilet bowl) "ECHO! ECHO!" (Proceeds to nap some more)
9:15am: Damnit! Morning woody.
She Is Electric X 8:48:00 PM
For starters, I am heartbroken because topshop Uk doesn't stock those Brogue heels in my size anymore. Why was I so stupid! Why couldn't I have followed my instinctive covetous nature and just bought those damn things months ago when they first came out! Now,alas, I must suffer the heavy penalty of being without those Brogue heels. Curses, Curses, Curses.
However, I consoled myself by splurging on a low cut shortish knit dress, roman sandals and the coolest pair of baggy cotton lounge trousers. I shudder to think how much I've spent today. I would upload the pictures but, you guessed it, blogger is being lame. Again. Anyway, big news... I will be getting my very own slip sometime soon to wear with my dress/top (When I can be arsed to go shopping again). Gawd guys! Can you ever leave a girl in peace! Also, I think I've gone up a size! Yay! I think, I hope, I should get it checked just to be on the safe side, don't want to be nursing false hopes and all.
Anyway, off to watch the Constant Gardener now... sigh, I'm SO stressed!!!
She Is Electric X 7:32:00 PM
Monday, March 13, 2006
Being the dutiful daughter I was, I gave it a shot and IT WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!! *hysterics*
It's just about one of the best shows I have ever watched. It is so creepy and so stuffed full of symbolism and interesting visuals *ahem*, that you would be mad not to love it. It stars Christopher lee as Lord Summerisle (i.e leader of a whole bunch of mad deluded pagans).
If you didn't know the plot already, it is basically about an officer who got sent to this isle off the scottish mainland following a report on a missing girl. He turns up and everyone doesn't seem to know what he's talking about. This is played up against a whole background of very strange pagan rituals with very graphic shots (like umbilical cords, putting toads into mouths, dead puppies) which are very tastefully done (believe me, carcasses can look slick). Needless to say everything is not what it seems, or rather,everything is what it seems therefore making it even scarier.
Mostly shot in the daylight this movie's creepy feel is taken up a notch as everyone cavorts in their mad practices in the open, suggesting deeper madness afoot. You will love it. Even if you're a real wimpy buns and faint at the slightest suggestion of gore, you will be able to stomach this. Everyone will be able to stomach this seeing as the scariest shot in the movie was Christopher Lee dressed up as a manwoman.
Sigh... Christopher Lee.... I grovel at your feet. Now I understand how he can be a scottish Charlie Manson.. *swoon*,I would so join a crazy pagan cult for him, jumping naked over bonfires and what not... *siiiiigh*
-sorry,pictures unavailable to illustrate my points, blogspot being lame-
On a separate note...
I've relieved some of my tension online by addressing the issue of retail procrastination. I have been promising to get my hands on a list of DVDs for ages but alas alack, have been just too darn lazy. I resisted the urge to buy The L Word simply because it is a tv series and I don't really wish to bend my sexuality, right now at least, it's too much of an effort.
Instead,this is my list of dvd purchases:
1. 2046
2. What's Eating Gilbert Grape
3. Spirited Away
4. Innocence
What I wish to get but for some reason, didn't:
1. Raise the red lantern
2. Ma Mere ( too R rated to appear on my credit card bill)
Anyway....
I can't wait to go back! Listening to Lush radio right now and it's just reminding me so badly of my room back in spore. It makes me think of how I'd turn it on in the middle of the night, with my room dimly lit by candles, incense burning, the fan overhead gently whirring and the weather warm enough to just walk around in my fav ck boyshorts...aw shucks! I want to go home now! Those who have stayed over before will know how chilled/sexy my room can get ,even if I do say do myself heehee.... Damn Lush for making me so utterly homesick.
At the same time I am dreading the plane ride back. You would think I would have come up with a solution to help deal with plane hair considering what a veteran I am at flying. The prospect of peanuts and in-flight movies is a real perk though. Singapore here I come! Bring it ooooonnn!!!!! yee har!
She Is Electric X 7:04:00 PM
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Yea, that's me...
On a separate note, I have concluded that although smoking busts up my throat, it does have its perks. This morning as I was in deep fantasy , Lala came into my room beckoning me to her hovel to share a gaff (or a million). Needless to say I needed little persuasion, with my explosive hair and geeky glasses I shuffled off with her to chill in her 'crib'. May I just say, she has the coolest guitar and the most awesome chords under her belt and I could have just sat there for all eternity smoking and listening to her strumming it out to Nirvana and the Chili Peppers.
My favourite song was 'Let Me Go' by 3 Doors down just because the chords sound so round and it just sounds awesome played along with the band themselves. Almost busting my wrist to get my tiny hands round the guitar I actually learnt how to play it! I'm so excited! :D I can't wait till my dad gets my sis her guitar (damn that girl, she asked for an acoustic), converts the outdoor loo into our chilloutpad,and finally gets round to getting us a drumkit. You guys are invited!
YAR!*scream, head bang*
On a more sober note...
Zaz crashed in my room last night. The two of us were nestled all snug in our beds,While visions of stacked heels danced in our heads. With mamma Z in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap, we had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap. I can't wait to be done with this history exam, it's robbing me of my health and sanity (or what's left of it). I need to shop!
*drool*
Anyway, it's difficult having to sift through the amount of trashy fashion on the net to look for pictures of what I covet, but you get the idea. I need to get it out of my system... YAR!
She Is Electric X 12:11:00 PM
Friday, March 10, 2006
If I could just kill them.
Shove all my attitude down their tight throats.
Pity we're only lovers.
_________________________________________
I could murder those stupid techies in this hell of an institution.
Its frustrating posting this without having a clue what it looks like.
Ironic isn't it.
Being the only one who can't see your blog.
Someone in the techie room is laughing while I sit here. Frustrated.
_________________________________________
Forces of evil.
No, don't sleep tonight. Don't leave me up alone.
Come on let's take a walk in the freezing cold. Please don't unbutton my coat. There's nothing underneath.
Come crush me now, I'm armed and ready to _____
History screams in my ear and I'm losing faith.
Am I just like you, are we both drowning in this together
In this exam, we're pushed to prove ourselves
'Don't fall apart'. This is just a notion.
Just like how the drunk screams in the dead of the night will fade into the darkness
and how you will fade into the recesses of my mind, mute and dumb.
'Don't fall apart'.
We will fall apart.
We fall.
Apart.
________________________________________
With the tickets for leaver's ball up for grabs I'm hesitating.
Seeing as I missed my secondary school prom, I'm tempted to make this a habit. I was upset but that feeling was fleeting, especially since I was flown off to the UK instead.
Now however, seeing as the theme this year is 'Venetian Masquerade Ball'( how terrible original *rolls eyes*), it's almost romantic a cliche enough to reel me in.
The problem however, is the big question of who I'm going to bring. So far the list of people I've drawn up is,well, me, myself,and I...3! That's a start. Sure people will be bringing lots of guys to snag off, but it just sounds so dreadfully sad, ' ticket for one please'. HAHA
Hm, I wonder if good ol' Charlie will be here in June. I wonder if I can ship a few people over from Singapore to keep me company... It's a venetian masquerade ball guys! It'd be fucking cool if you fly over and surprise me. There's a pond and like, grass , marquee, candles, hot girls/ guys, depending on your sexual orientation, so it has the makings of an awesome do!
Bah, Why do I even bother.
She Is Electric X 9:29:00 PM
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Suck it down baby. You know you want to.
She Is Electric X 9:15:00 AM
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
I always wanted to be a dancer because there's always someone there to catch you.
the guy catches the girl....twit
anna - - red dress says:
i know . but currently u are guyless
anna - - red dress says:
so the responsibility falls on your poor ol frds
anna - - red dress says:
so try not to jump too often
Amen.
She Is Electric X 3:00:00 PM
For Blue Skies[ Strays Don't sleep ]
It’s been a long year
Since we last spoke
How’s your halo?
Just between you and I
You and me and the satellites
I never believed you
I only wanted to
Before all of this
What did I miss?
Do you ever get homesick?
I can’t get used to it
I can’t get used to it
I’ll never get used to it
I’ll never get used to it
I’m under that night
I’m under those same stars
We’re in a red car
You asleep at my side
Going in and out of the headlights
Could I have saved you?
Would that’ve betrayed you?
I wanna burn this film
You alone with those pills
What you couldn’t do I will
I forgive you
I’ll forgive you
I’ll forgive you
I forgive you
For blue, blue skies
For blue, blue skies
For blue, blue skies
For blue, blue skies
I’ll forgive you
Does it get any better. Does it get any worse. I'm sick of all these metaphors.
All these words, nobody really says what they mean anymore.
Nobody means what they say anymore.
All Right.
We never care too much, but we're still hanging on a string. Suspended or Choking
There's little difference.
We don't dare to let our feelings free, and we are disinterested in honesty.
Bad news comes and we're winded but we get up again because good news is on its way.
We'll all float on okay. Alright and All ready.
Even when things end up abit too heavy, darling, we'll all float on alright.
They burn our churches to the ground, all us idol worshippers let out a sigh
We will buy up souls to fill up our lonely, holy, empty homes.
"Please don't barracade your window, we mute ones, starving for words need your inspiration"
Gasping. Panting. There's sand in these mouths of ours.
Do You Believe In Transcendence
?
She Is Electric X 9:09:00 AM
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Seeing as I have ages before University beckons me into its painfully boring academic arms I have decided to apply for some internship. I don't know why I do this to myself. I reckon getting jobs is like drinking. You experience it once and you promise yourself you'd rather eat your big toe till you try it again, but you inevitably end up crawling back.
I really want to go to Shanghai (because I'm kinda Shanghainese and because I reckon it'll be wild) , so I will be putting in my application for Vogue,China (How sweet is that? CHINESE VOGUE!) If Charlie could survive there without a word of mandarin, I think I'll be able to do it too. Yes. Hopefully. This is the most impulsive thing I've done in ages and I can't wait to see my parents faces when I tell them I'm going to work in Vogue, CHINAH! (Ting, if you're reading this, keep this to yourself ok.It's a surprise)
Then there's also the tempting prospect of just staying in Singapore and hopefully being alllowed to contribute to Juice Magazine. I get to party and write too?! Who can turn that down? What I fear is that working in a local magazine like Juice will turn me off journalism permanently . The Arts House was the most uninspiring stint of my life. I remember waking up every morning and going through a list of plausible excuses for not turning up for work ; death for instance.
This is all in preparation for the ULTIMATE internship stint which I plan to do next summer. I.D Magazine. OOOh YEA! I can hardly wait. I'm up for being persuaded against my decision to jetset to China, so if any of you object speak now, or forever hold your peace. You know you want to spend more time with me guys....
er guys?
She Is Electric X 6:56:00 PM
We went up to Londres to catch the matinee showing of Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf but Katheen Turner was ill, one actor was totally overdoing it,and the other lead was a no-show too :( Not pleased at all.
The worst thing about going to London was having to leave it...
Heh, We were standing in a dodgy lane having a gaff, we didn't notice it was porn-lane till men with no teeth and dirty clothes started gathering suspiciously . We kinda flipped out.... But I had never been to a proper porn place before! it was so exciting!
When I got back it was like 8 and Scaz and crew had left for Yates' to celebrate her unconditional offer from St Martins. She had also polished off the bottles of smirnoff that were meant for ME *grumble*.
Despite promising myself a sober weekend I found myself and susan and anna s in the residence.. I was totally egging cheng to get plastered seeing as she has been teetotal for 2 months plus.
Oddly enough, the party came to us. We were totally messing around in Cheng's empty room, everyone totally buzzing from ... I have no idea what they did , but it was crazy anyway... VODKA!
Oompa Loompa...
The green fairy... absinthe! Yay! Young hearts... Run Free.....
Zaz being totally uncooperative... GIVE IT TO ME BABY! UH HUH UH HUH!
Sigh silly drunks... Bouncing off the walls again... acting like a fool again...
Aye Aye Cap'n
BUBS! haha
What can I say...Some people have problems letting me go heheh
Natasha Anastacia Rasputin, the Russian Mailorder Bride... Da
This is a pretty CK ad type photo, aside from the fact that Anna was having problems getting up... drunk
The tragedy: They were all trashed but I wasn't !!!
Uh.... Yea well.... Who knows what I was thinking
Can't get enough of this wig... Yea like,totally, yea like...
There were more pictures of us acting like retards but uploading them is tiring. Here was yet another weekend, it seems evident that no weekend of mine is complete without heaven's nectar- alcohol!!! St Patrick's is coming round the corner... can barely wait!
For now, here's the Cap'n of the Lurvboat signing off..... Out! x
She Is Electric X 11:36:00 AM